Every parent wants their child to show respect and good manners at school as well as home. They want them to be kind and polite so that they can live well when they grow up. Parents want kids to follow all the rules and instructions. We as parents expect a lot from our kids, specially their behavior, don’t we? But this good behavior cannot be taught in just a day or two. It should be started at a very young age. Children’s do get angry very soon and show tantrums when in crowd as they start feeling neglected when you get busy with your friends at a party or a get together. Each and every moment they want is your attention. And for some it’s hard to socialize with other kids. They get bored easily and start whining.
Some parents often complain about their kids behaving very well at other places but when at home the kids make a fuss of everything, whether it’s cleaning up their toys, finishing their homework, or eating the dinner. Some kids even lie about small things which can gradually turn to big. They are often scared to share with you their problems and learn to keep secrets from you, just thinking that you might get angry or upset with them and will not favor them. But one thing we forget is children’s are impetuous and emotional, as they never think about the consequences of their speech and actions. So it’s we who have to make them understand what is right and wrong, and support them. There are some tried and tested methods to encourage the good behavior in children and the bad behavior will diminish slowly.
Patience is the key to happiness and joy and every one should practice being patient. But for parents it can be frustrating when kids are yelling and screaming on top of their lungs, and showing too much aggression. Remember that kids are different from grown-ups and they are still learning. Yelling back at them can only lead to stress and depression in both kids and parents. Shouting can negatively affect the child’s physical, mental, and social growth. Don’t get to conclusion as soon as you see your child’s bad behavior instead wait, watch, and then act. Take some deep breaths or count till ten whichever way works best for you. Children’s action can be annoying and provoking for the parents, however learn to stay calm and cool because your anger can only worsen the matter. You can also smile, sing your favorite song, or just go back to your memories and remember the first time you hold your child in your arms and I am sure all the anger, frustration, rage, will vanish away.
Reward your Child
One of the simplest ways is to praise or reward your child every time they show good behavior. Rewards can work as positive reinforcement and will keep the kid motivated for longer time. It is essential to appreciate and acknowledge your child’s good actions and words. Rewards can be social, material, or even verbal according to age.
A warm hug or kiss, a smile, a high five, or a gentle pat on the back can be considered as social rewards. You can spend some extra time with your kids by taking them to a park, playing a game with them, reading a bedtime story, or doing their favorite activity together.
Material rewards can be getting your child needed stationary like pen, pencils, or art set. Prepare a meal of their choice or bake some cookies or brownies and give them a treat. For good behavior you can consider giving allowances to young kids once they understand the importance of money and become responsible. Occasionally toys can also be rewarded.
A verbal reward consists of a lot of encouragement and appreciation to the child’s actions. Appreciate the child when they share their pencils, books, and toys with their friends. A thank you with a smile can be said when they help you set up the table or make up their bed. Complement them by using the statements starting with ‘I’ which can make your praise specific to the child. For example, say “I loved the way you colored the painting with bright colors” instead of “beautiful painting”.
Learn to say ‘No’
Children often fall under the influence of other kids, which can result in a never ending demand. Demands can be of watching extra episode of their favorite show, playing video game, toys, and nowadays smartphones and other electronic gadgets. Sometimes you may say yes but there are times when you need to say ‘No’. Many parents fulfill their demands as they don’t want to disappoint their kids and make them feel sad about it. But saying No will help them learn to compromise. It will make them resilient and they will find better options and become a good problem solver. Giving too much will definitely make them ungrateful. However, a straight ‘No’ can often lead to anger or bad behavior. As a parent you have to set the limits and regulations, and stay firm on your words.
Be a Friend
It is really important to be your child’s best friend. Being a friend will make your relation more strong and honest with your child. You should be the first person with whom you child can share any problems no matter how big or small. At that point of time, you have to listen to him, support him, without yelling or scolding him. You need to solve his/her problems, by guiding him the right and wrong. As a parent it’s our duty to keep our child secure not just physically but mentally and emotionally too. You never know what things might be troubling your child which can cause that bad behavior. This friendship, this trust should not be one sided, it should be mutual and should be practiced since early age. If they share with you, there are possibilities that they will not get lost on something, as you would be there to guide them. No parent wants their children to deal with stress and become weak. Incidence like bullying, child abuse, and discrimination happen often these days. We should stop constant nagging and humiliating kids as this might make them more rigid and stubborn, and hurt their feelings. Always talk to them in private so they can be more open to you.
Be a Role Model
Parents have to be very cautious as they are acting as role models to their children. You have to act as a positive role model who will inspire the kids, and give them the strength and courage to face any circumstances. You have to set a good example before them to be positive and confident. And for that we have to improve our behavior first. We all are aware that children get influenced by others, so why not in a positive way by parents. We want our children to be strong, caring, noble, honest, helpful, respectful, and most of all they should have the ability to overcome obstacles. Children follow in the footsteps of parents so be kind and polite in your words and actions. They are always watching and listening to our conversation whenever we are communicating with someone, and as their minds are so sharp, they store up everything in their little mind. And later, when similar incidence happens they use it then. So if you want your children, to listen to you and be well-mannered, then you must listen to them first and behave well with them.