Rituals that can’t be tolerated in a Hindu Marriage

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NEW DELHI, INDIA - NOVEMBER 23: Members of a brass band stand roadside as they wait for guests to arrive, as they accompany a wedding procession on November 23, 2011 in New Delhi, India. India's wedding season peaks from late October to early December each year as couples choose to wed in these auspicious months. The Indian wedding traditionally starts with a procession which sees the groom riding or drawn by a carriage with a white horse, escorted by close family and friends, a brass band and a mobile lighting crew powered by a diesel generator. Guests in attendance dance and celebrate through the streets, showering the groom with rupee notes, until they arrive to the final destination of the wedding. (Photo by Daniel Berehulak/Getty Images)

Some unbearable customs happily going on…

Hinduism is much more a culture then religion. There are various customs and traditions following in different parts of the country ‘India’. Each and every custom have its deep meaning. Performing all the customs makes a family and relatives happy, somewhere the one himself also gets pleased to complete all the rituals and customs perfectly in any of the Puja, Vastu, Engagement, Marriage. But there are still some rituals with no meaning in present life. The father of the bride washes the feet of his son in law after the vidhi(ritual) of “madhuparka” which are followed in some cultures of Gujarat, Rajasthan states. This was performed in earlier times when groom was travelling a long distance walking barefoot. But at present time when groom travels on a horse or in a car then this custom is just performed as it is passed by our elders to us. The bride would never want her father touching and washing the grooms feet.

He was that time given an extra respect, care, and importance just thinking that -“If the son in law is not pleased than he will not keep his daughter happy”. The father of the bride would fulfill any or I must say all the wishes and demands by the groom, not just on the day of wedding but also through out his life. How can one anyone think like that and why does a groom measure his wife’s love on the basis of bride’s family treatment. The love and companionship towards each other should be equal to both and they should give respect to their spouse feelings. This is not the time to still live with personnel ego but everyone should move forward and think bigger than this. Consider your son in law as your elder son who always stands with you and groom too has to respect his father in law as he respects his real father. Why there is a point of any expectations, if one is capable enough to handle his house?

Dowry’ system in India is illegal since 1961 but still it is widely seen. Why still extra gifts, cash, durable goods, and real or movable properties, are given to the groom and his family? Why much more warm welcome is needed? A gift is something given out of love and respect, it is never asked. When there is a financial demand in a wedding, do not proceed. Take this as a signal and back out. Teach your sons never to demand dowry, and teach your daughters never agree to marry in such a family. This era is to show something extra like “An Equality of Men and Women”.

Consider your bride’s family and your family equal. Why to run from your responsibilities. Make yourself capable of handling everything on your own .

A Groom should love bride’s family and a bride should accept groom’s family. When both the hands of clock are working together, you will get the perfect time. So as, when both the persons are equally accepting the duties with proper love and respect to their family and relatives, then you will get smooth easy going lovely life. Avoid small and useless worries coming to your life and try to think bigger. Your nation needs your positive attitude towards it to bring peace. To bring a change in the nation we all have to give our support and work together. Show your efforts to help poor’s and also give your society a good value of human beings.

If you want to change the world, first try to improve and bring the change within yourself. that will help change your family. from there it just gets bigger and bigger. everything we do has some effect, some impact.  – dalai lama

  • Lawson Annie Elijah

    hmm, this is a strong, and pretty intriguing write up. Your idea is quite similar to mine concerning the dowry. Thanks for sharing your point of view 🙂

    • Dowry is very critical issue in India which leads to many deaths. This should be totally stopped. Most importantly awareness is necessary, that is what we are trying to do. Thanks Lawson for reading this article.

  • Great post! My best friend is Hindu, so I had heard a little bit about this before, but not about the madhuparka. This is all so interesting! Thank you for sharing! 💗

    • I am glad to hear that you know about Indian rituals. Thanks ZoeyValuated for reading this article.

  • Chittaranjan Shetty

    Interestingly back in my village its brothers who wash the grooms feet as a ritual. I did it for my sister’s marriage just got to know its called ‘Madhuparka’.

    • Chittaranjan Shetty, thanks for sharing about your traditions.

  • This Blended Home of Mine

    I had no idea about the washing of the groom’s feet and I think that you are so right. While I do not know much about the Hindu culture, it seems that some of these practices have no bearing in today’s society (as you have mentioned). Thanks for sharing this. There are so many people like myself who are unaware.

    • Thanks for reading this article. I just wish that all people think like you, and stop these kind of rituals.