What if we are always facing refusals in our lives? We definitely get depressed and loose the charm of living life. Who would love to get neglected and mistreated every time? No one on this earth would want to go through this feeling. There are times when you have to say ‘No’, especially when it comes to your priorities. There are more ways to say no to any situation and that too in a way which will be accepted by the other person. Everyone should learn how to deny without hurting others. Would you give it a try? This is where the question arises. How to refuse without saying No?
For instance, imagine it’s your birthday today. And as you wake up, you are surprised with lots of gifts by your sister. She also shares the celebration plans with you. Your mom spends the entire day preparing all your favorite food and your favorite dessert. Meanwhile your friends are planning for a day trip. It’s your special day and to make it more special each one is surprisingly planning for you. In this situation, what will you do? Would you say no to your loving family or refuse your friends, who are always by your side when you needed them. Neither could you disappoint your family nor your friends. The best way to come out of this is saying ‘No’ but in a nicer way. Make your family understand that you’ll be going out at night with your friends, so they celebrate your birthday by evening. And request your friends to arrange trip on some other day as you already have plans, but insist on meeting and celebrating with them at a restaurant. Without refusal you can handle this situation.
“BE STRONG, BUT NOT RUDE; BE KIND BUT NOT WEAK; BE BOLD BUT NOT BULLY; BE HUMBLE BUT NOT TIMID; BE PROUD BUT NOT ARROGANT.”
The word ‘NO’ is often heard by teachers as students return their home assignments incomplete and sometimes makes false stories. Teacher, very much aware of the student’s behavior and action, try to discipline. The teacher feels helpless after so many failed attempts of improving the kid’s behavior. But, she would never give up and keep on trying to praise and encourage students to perform better.
No is a negative word which brings negative energy around. Kids who have heard more No’s get annoyed easily and learn to refuse at a very early age. Young kids when refused for chocolates or ice-creams, or if any of their demand is not fulfilled they surely will cry and show their dislike to the refusal. In teenagers too this tendency against NO is more, as they are at their growing age and learn and want new things as they compare themselves with others. And on refusal they burst out in anger.
A very bitter experience of the word ‘NO’ is among unemployed persons. When they are rejected in any interview, they feel the stress, get depressed and mentally tired. The same thing is faced by young generation who fall in love but when anyone refuses their proposals, their feelings get hurt badly. Some can positively accept with just tears in their eyes and let go the situation but some can act fully negative with their nature. Young kids participating in dance and singing shows on televisions face rejection and refusal. Television shows like Dance India Dance, Indian Idol, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa, to name a few, gives a platform to kids to show their skills, but kids have to struggle hard to reach the winning point. And despite of all the efforts only one wins, and the remaining gets disappointed.
“THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXPRESSING YOUR OPINION AND BEING RUDE.”
‘NO’ brings lots of troubles in our lives. And there are many more situations in one’s daily life, where any kind of refusals can’t be easily accepted by anyone. So it is necessary for everyone, to understand different ways of rejecting anything but without hurting anyone. When you say No, you don’t want to be rude or make someone angry or upset. Make them understand the situation. Be kind and polite, and I know it doesn’t count much.